Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Fckd off !!

 After having a good meeting with the oncologist last Friday and having only slight side effects I went ahead with chemo.

It was only one drug what could possibly go wrong.......

I was so confident that I was going to breeze through it I booked a flight to Almeria,  booked a nice hotel for the night before as it was an early flight.  I also paid for a weeks airport parking..

Things started turning to shit after a couple of days, the dreaded sore throat had returned, I started gargling and taking all the medications to try and hold it at bay. It has worked to a degree and is nowhere near as bad as last time when I ended up in hospital for eight days.

But, and its a big but, I can hardly eat because its so painful and my mouth feels like the bottom of a birdcage, its absolutely foul. I am also extremely tired and have spent two days in bed.

So what is the point of going to Mojacar where the main part of the break would be eating and drinking, there is no point whatsoever plus the thought of maybe getting really ill and hospitalized in Spain doesn't bear worth thinking about.

I have got a full refund on the hotel and car parking but of course flying with Ryanair means the airfare part is flushed down the toilet.

I am so pissed off because i really thought that this maintenance drug was going to be the answer for me to lead a more normal life.  Reality is Im not going through this shit every three weeks.

Tomorrow I will ring the hospital to discuss stopping all treatment, there is only so much one can take and Im at the end.



  1. Bloody hell. Wishing you the very very best so you can get back xc

  2. Maybe it needs a little adjustment . You have done so well this far. Don’t give up xxxxxx

  3. Live natural yogurt with organic honey (as much as you like)
    very soothing and antifungal even if you just hold it in your mouth
    best wishes
    Nb Ceiriog

  4. Oh Paul, what a rollercoaster time you are having! Hope they can come up with an answer to a better quality of life for you.
    Kath (nb Herbie)

  5. It's your life paul and you make the decisions. However, just make sure there are no alternatives. I a.m currently in royal Liverpool hospital having had my retina re-attached. Absolutely wonderful service from NHS. Thinking about you. Jennifer .Nb mactra's filia

  6. Paul, I wish you the best, whatever choices you make regarding further treatment. I also want to thank you, as your posts have helped my wife and I make plans of our own. Perhaps we would not have been brave enough to do so without the example of people like you. I honor your courage in facing all you have gone through, and I admire your ability to retain your spirit and humor while doing so. Again, thank you, you have helped us very much, Marshall

  7. Paul, I've been following your blog and I've been incredibly impressed with the adventures you and Elaine had over the years. Needless to say I was gutted to read about Elaine, and now I'm doubly gutted to read about your challenges. I keep checking back, hoping you're ok, and I'll continue to do so. Keep up the good fight and all the very best. VP.

  8. Hi Paul, I'm sure you are in the thoughts and prayers of many people. Obviously don't feel the need to blog in any detail, but if you are able to manage just a short line, many of your readers would like to know that you are hanging on in there. All good wishes to you Paul.