The End Is Nigh!!!

I went to London on Friday 5th October to see the oncologist for a routine check up and chat, she said that I appeared to be getting worse so she sent me for a CT scan whilst I was there plus a blood test. 

On Sunday I flew to Mojacar to sort out my personal stuff in the villa, I took my sister Jackie and sis in law Tracy with me to help me.

Early Monday morning the phone rang it was the oncologist saying she had the scan results and it was really bad. The cancer was everywhere in my lungs plus on my liver. I also had fluid on my left lung and worst of all my kidneys were in a real bad way. The only good part was that I would probably die of kidney failure and it would be quick.  She did offer me immunotherapy , but the side effects are horrendous and would probably kill me.  I decided not to go with that plan and will let the cancer do its thing. We did decide to get the hospice  involved, one of the nurses is coming round on Monday to discuss end of life planning. 

So it wasn't the start to the trip we were hoping for, there were so many people I wanted to see whilst down there but I was just too ill to leave the villa.

I did manage to catch up with my BFF Eva which was just lovely, she is so special to me and its a relationship that's hard to figure out, we just clicked a few years ago and that's it.

I did manage to have a relaxing afternoon at the office which was lovely. It was strange to think last year I was down here nearly everyday and was loving life to the full, so much as changed in the last year

The girls did an amazing job packing up everything they didnt stop, but I did give them a couple of afternoons off to go to the beach.

I gave the little Citroen away to a good home whilst I was down there which was nice, so she will carry on running for a bit longer. Elaine loved that little car so much, so she would have been happy.

By the end of the week I was ready to go home as I was missing the safety of being in the UK and really didn't want to get stranded in Spain. I was feeling so ill and tired.

I went on the roof on the last day to take my final photo of the lovely view, I think my chances of ever going back there or anywhere overseas are now a big fat zero

A very tatty me and my carers at the airport, I had wheelchair assistance at both airports which helped a lot.

The End is Nigh in the title wasn't about my demise it was about finishing the blog as I now find it very difficult to see the screen and keyboard plus I feel so constantly unwell, I struggle to make it the slightest bit interesting.

I was hoping to reach 1,000,000 hits but that's not going to happen but am still very happy at the 923,000 .  It was never about the numbers anyway. It was something I have really enjoyed doing especially in the early days on the narrowboat. I still go back there often and love reading the old posts and especially looking at the photos.  The motorhome blogs were also so enjoyable.  When Elaine died in 2016 to me the blog also died, I missed her input and especially her correcting my appalling grammar.

The last year has been pretty  crap blogwise as there as been nothing to blog about apart from fkin cancer which has completely taken over and destroyed my life.

I have enjoyed writing this post so wont put it to bed until I physically cant type anymore.

Bye For Now xxxx