Saturday, February 17, 2018

Im Still Alive!

But as the Aussies would say I have been as crook as Rookwood ( Which is a famous Sydney Cemetery)

The chemo session absolutely smashed me, I have never felt so ill in my life and that includes life threatening man flu!! 

I was bed ridden for over a week and basically would have been so happy to not wake in the morning.

My blood pressure dropped so low that I couldn't stand for longer than a few seconds and did collapse one night whist going to the bathroom.

They have altered all my drugs again, and I have stopped taking my blood pressure tablets.

I have felt better the last couple of days which is good, my biggest problem at the moment is that I literally cannot walk at all !!  I am getting a wheelchair today so I can at least get out of the house.

Im off to London on Thursday for a full scan which will hopefully show what is going on.

I know that this cancer will kill me but i was thinking it would be more like Elaines where we had some good breaks between chemo where we lived a normal life. At the moment normal life to me is a long gone memory, Im hoping it will come back but hey ho if it doesn't so be it.

I will try and update the blog more often, but as you can imagine when you feel like absolute death it isn't a priority .  I haven't replied to loads of emails. private messages, im really sorry and it probably sounds quite pathetic to say it was just too hard!! 

Paul XX 


  1. You look after yourself Paul, you shouldn't be worrying about anyone else, let them be patient. You are your main concern. xx

  2. I'm glad you are feeling a bit better and able to put pen to paper - that must be a good sign. As Carol says don't worry about other people - put all your energy into yourself so that you can get on with your life. Take care Paul xxxx

  3. Keep your energy for looking after yourself Paul, we miss your posts but we would prefer you to concentrate on your treatment. Best wishes :)

  4. Lovely to hear from you, do not worry about replying , just remember that people are thinking of you and sending all love xxxxx Hope you feel better soon. xxxxKK

  5. Good to hear from you Paul and sorry life is so shit for you at the moment. I really do hope it gets better for you so you can get out and about with your doggies again. I know hoe you enjoy your walks. All out love xx

  6. Can't imagine what you're going through Paul, I so hope you can catch a few breaks!

  7. Hi Paul. Just wanted to let you know you've been on our thoughts every day. We were checking the blog for updates and then when we did see this post we were so happy to hear from you that we completely forgot to post a comment to let you know we are sending you very big hugs. Your outlook is an inspiration to us. We dont know what words to say other than we are trusting you will feel a bit more normality soon. Love & licks... Esther Dan and the dogs