Saturday, August 20, 2016

My Little Elaine Tribute

Its only been 2 days since Elaine passed, I had it all planned how I was going to handle it, I  knew it was going to be hard, I just didn't realise how hard.

Whilst I am in a up moment I have been going through the blog and facebook taking out photos, its quite an easy job because Elaine was always smiling, there were no unhappy moments.

Its a bit self indulgent, but the blog is fantastic for reminiscing, so much more than a photo album. 

I'm sure some people think it is strange to put it out there in the public domain, but I find it quite healing and it helps me a lot to share it but not to have to talk about it face to face.....strange but true, in my case anyway.

Firstly a poem that Elaine found and had it engraved on our first little doggies (Byron) grave. I find it very apt for Elaine as well.

Do not stand at my grave and weep 
I am not there. I do not sleep. 
I am a thousand winds that blow. 
I am the diamond glints on snow. 
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 
I am the gentle autumn rain. 
When you awaken in the morning's hush 
I am the swift uplifting rush 
Of quiet birds in circled flight. 
I am the soft stars that shine at night. 
Do not stand at my grave and cry; 
I am not there. I did not die. 

Friday, August 19, 2016

RIP My Lovely Elaine

Last night (18th August) my lovely Elaine passed away.

I am heartbroken but so thankful that she let me into her life 21 years ago, I am thankful that she will not be in any more pain. I am so thankful for the fantastic loving 21 years we spent together, especially the last four and a half years where we have spent every single day and night together travelling and having fun.  

Without exception she was loved by everyone that met her, she was so special.

I knew this day would come and I thought I was prepared, but it hits you like a sledgehammer.

She would hate to see me mope and feel sorry for myself as she never did, she was positive about everything she did. Its going to be hard to carry on without her but I will always knowing that she will be watching down on me.

The little doggies were with her right to the end, they have now become even more precious, if that is possible.  

I will do a picture montage at a later date, we all need to remember this special lady.

I wont blog for a while, I need some time out, it will never be the same blog without Elaine, plus the spelling and grammar are going to suffer without my editor.

Once again I cant thank the East Cheshire Hospice enough, the nurses were so upset at losing one of  their favourite patients. They treated her with such dignity right to the end 

Please donate to them in Elaine's memory if you can, the link is here 

I cant write anymore at this time.

Thank you xxxx

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Still At The Hospice.

Not only has Elaine got a very kind heart but it appears she also has a very strong heart.

She is still with us but back on morphine to control the pain, we still have our little chats but they are getting very few and far between.

It really is a hideous disease and doesn't give you a break even at the end. 

I have now moved into her room, I want to be with her 24/7 and really dont like leaving her on her own. The Chaplain sat with her yesterday for a couple of hours so I could take the dogs on a good walk. Its nice to get out and clear my head a bit,
  They have set up a bed for me in her room, of course the boys have moved in as well and are very well behaved, they seem to know what is going on especially Sammie,he is such a sensitive little doggie. He now sleeps right next to Elaine which seems to have made him a bit more relaxed.

The photo below was taken exactly a year ago when we attended the Cropredy Festival, We had tickets for this year but obviously couldn't attend, the organisers kindly gave us a full refund.

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Nearing The End

Elaine is still in the hospice and is now very close to the end.

I have moved into the hospice full time, they have supplied me with a lovely room including all food etc. The dogs are also most welcome and sleep in the room with me at night. 

Elaine's sister has come up from Kent and is also staying at the hospice.

She is also having regular visits from her brother, nephew, stepdad, and her friends that all live local.   
It is a surreal moment with Elaine sleeping for hours on end and then suddenly she wakes and says a few words, it is a struggle for her to speak, but when she does all she is concerned about is the people around her and her two beloved little doggies.

She is ready to go and desperately want to go, amazingly she is now off the morphine and is virtually pain free which is good news. 

This photo appeared on our facebook page, it was from a wedding we attended back in Sydney in 2011.

I look like crap but Elaine is her normal gorgeous self. 

Once again thank you for all your comments, emails  and letters of support, they are so much appreciated.

As always people are asking what they can do to help, I am fine, and have plenty of support from friends, the hospice and my local publican!

But the hospice desperately need funds to survive, I cannot emphasise how much the staff have helped Elaine, never in my life have I met a group of such compassionate people.

One of the nurses came in the other day as she is going on holiday for 2 weeks, she was worried that Elaine would not be there on her return, so after she finished for the day she sat with Elaine for 45 minutes just holding her hand and talking to her.  None of this I'm on my hols so I'm out of here, just so lovely to watch.

I went a bit off track there, so yes the hospice is funded 20% by the NHS the rest has to be raised by donations etc. They need to raise £7500 each and every day to survive.

If you can spare a few bob please do, it will be so much appreciated by Elaine, myself and of course the hospice.

Here is the link

Please drop me a line if you do I would like to thank each and everyone of you.

My email is

Saturday, August 6, 2016

Difficult Blogging.

I'm finding it very difficult to blog lately, mainly because Elaine is deteriorating badly so what do I write about.

Its so difficult to watch it happen before my eyes and think how she was a few months ago.

She wants me to carry on so I will see how we go.

She has had some more lovely letters and cards from blog readers who we have never met, it is very touching.

This one was particularly lovely featuring a narrow boat and a lovely letter to accompany it.  

They have had 15 new beds delivered to the hospice, Elaine was given the first one, but the doggies wanted to check it out first. 

It really is a bells and whistles bed and at a cost of £10,000 each you would hope so. They have air mattresses that are constantly changing pressure to prevent bed sores etc and can adjust to every angle imaginable.

We have been back in the UK now for over two months and every day I have been visiting Elaine at the Christie hospital in Manchester and now the East Cheshire hospice in Macclesfield. I don't mind, I want to do it, but Elaine suggested that I have one day off and go and watch my niece showjumping near Coventry.
I wasn't keen on leaving her but her sister and brother in law where coming up from Kent so she would be in good hands and they would notify me immediately if anything untoward happened.

It was a two hour drive and I arrived at about 10,00am 

It was a fantastic day out with Kimberly and Neeko performing fantastically.

Its been a three day event with Kimberley finishing third out of the 60 entrants. 

Well done Kimmy and thanks for a great day out xxxx 

Friday, July 29, 2016

A Grand day Out.

I have been moored up on the farm now for seven weeks. They have always told me that this weekend has been booked for a big family gathering. Apparently they book the whole site every year for the weekend. They asked me if I minded moving off the site and park up around the back with the horse floats for the weekend.
No problems says I, so just for a change I got up early and took the van for a spin to pick up my washing from the bagwash at Bolly , then to Tesco for a bit of a shop.
 Tesco was an eyeopener in the early morning......loads of OAPs staggering around the aisles, checking the label of everything they pick up!! A 20 minute shop took me about 40 minutes trying to get round the buggers.

So this is my weekend mooring around the back of the farm, its not a problem as there is a 240 hook up.

So to the big day out, Elaine has been hankering after some nice food, so between myself and her lovely friend Jane we managed to arrange a lunch at Sutton Hall, which is one of Elaine's and mine favourite places in the UK.
I did the easy bit in booking the restaurant, Jane managed to find a wheelchair taxi at very short notice.
The staff at the hospice excelled themselves in getting Elaine ready for her big day out, its the first time she has been out in seven weeks and it really meant a lot to her.
We had a lovely few hours at the restaurant and enjoyed some yummy food. 
It really took it out of Elaine, but I'm sure it was worth it. 

A big thank you to Jane and her husband Andy for such a lovely day out, hopefully we can do it again.

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Some Very Good News And A Little Bit Of Bad News

First the good news.....Bombo lump was this.........Trichoblastomas are a cutaneous condition characterised by benign neoplasms of follicular germinative cells Trichoblastic fibroma is a designation used to characterise small nodular trichoblastomas with conspicuous fibrocytic stroma, sometimes constituting over 50% of the lesion.

All that gobbledegook translates to he had a benign lump so he is 100% fine and is healing well, I cant believe how quickly his fur is growing back. 

The not so good news is that the lovely Volvo that I have been driving around for nearly two months went limp on me today, as is it went into limp mode.

The car has been lent to me by one of Elaine's friends and is a bit of a rocket ship. Today though as I was driving along the road to Bolly it would go no faster than 40MPH.

I drove it slowly to Shaw St Motors in Macclesfield, he was really busy but once I told him the reason that I need the car, it was no problem, He said leave it with us and we will check it out.

They rang a couple of hours later and had diagnosed a fractured turbo pipe, so it was getting no boost. It should be up and running tomorrow some time.

I ended up walking to the hospice and later in the arvo got a cab back to the farm.

The good news far outweighed the bad, I'm off to the pub for a celebratory drink!