Saturday, August 20, 2016

My Little Elaine Tribute

Its only been 2 days since Elaine passed, I had it all planned how I was going to handle it, I  knew it was going to be hard, I just didn't realise how hard.

Whilst I am in a up moment I have been going through the blog and facebook taking out photos, its quite an easy job because Elaine was always smiling, there were no unhappy moments.

Its a bit self indulgent, but the blog is fantastic for reminiscing, so much more than a photo album. 

I'm sure some people think it is strange to put it out there in the public domain, but I find it quite healing and it helps me a lot to share it but not to have to talk about it face to face.....strange but true, in my case anyway.

Firstly a poem that Elaine found and had it engraved on our first little doggies (Byron) grave. I find it very apt for Elaine as well.

Do not stand at my grave and weep 
I am not there. I do not sleep. 
I am a thousand winds that blow. 
I am the diamond glints on snow. 
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 
I am the gentle autumn rain. 
When you awaken in the morning's hush 
I am the swift uplifting rush 
Of quiet birds in circled flight. 
I am the soft stars that shine at night. 
Do not stand at my grave and cry; 
I am not there. I did not die. 


  1. These are beautiful photos and a lovely poem. Keep doing what you need to do at this most difficult time

  2. Hi Paul,

    What lovely photos. I’m sure you are finding it hard – I can’t really imagine how you must be feeling. I quite agree with you about writing making it easier – I am the same. I love looking back on my blog as nearly all the photos are of happy times. That poem brought tears to my eyes – it is really lovely. Keep strong Paul, remember the happy times you had with Elaine and I’m sure those memories will help you through this sad, sad time.

    Linda xxx

  3. David George MayneAugust 20, 2016 at 1:51 PM

    Lovely photos and lots of happy memories, everyone grieves differently, you carry on mate

  4. You’re doing great Paul. Lovely memories lovely pictures, lovely poem, lovely girl. Do whatever feels right for you. xx

  5. Do whatever you need to do Paul to help you cope at this desperately heartbreaking time. What lovely photos, lovely memories, and the poem says it all. Thinking of you xxx

  6. The photos are great & a lovely tribute to your lovely wife Elaine, they will help you a lot & you should deal with her loss any way you want. Xx

  7. Its lovely to see the pics of Elaine in happier and healthier times. I thought the poem was lovely Paul xxx

  8. What a wonderful set of photographs Paul. Elaine's loveliness shines through in each and every one of them. Love & hugs from us both xxxx

  9. They are indeed fabulous photos and will help you remember all the good times you had together. There are no rules or instructions on how to grieve or how long it takes. You just do what feels right. I can fully understand how writing things down helps. There are a lot of us out here to 'listen', so please carry on. Jennie & Chris, nb Tentatrice

  10. So sorry to hear of Elaine's passing. You talk about her always smiling, remember you put and kept that smile there. If only for a too short time, Elaine touched our hearts. (And feet). Be strong mate. Graham and Elaine and Skew

  11. Beautiful photos and words Paul, thank you for sharing them. Your honesty is incredibly humbling and touching. Although we only met you in person once by Lake Maggiore you and Elaine's lust for life and focus on enjoying each moment left a lasting impression on us. You're in our thoughts. All our love Dan and Esther x

  12. Happy locking fellow lock girl. As I showered this morning, using soap made by Elaine , I couldn't help but think of the saying ,those who live in the hearts of those who live,never die. Dear Paul your wonderful blog has reached readers all over the world and Elaine is now in the hearts forever of so so many people. A rare being in this world of ours. Keep strong, she is watching you. Hugs to Sammie and bombo too. Jennifer and Peter. Nb Mactras filia

  13. Paul dear, you are not being self-indulgent in any way! They are lovely pictures and you must do whatever is good for you. We only met you both once but have followed your blog since we started ours. Thank you for sharing
    love Debby and Dave xx

  14. What a lovely tribute to Bubs, Paul. Very proud of you right now. Love Jill xx

  15. Beautiful tribute Paul, I still have the photos from when we met up in Torrevieja. Smiles, Smiles, with you and the doggies as always..
    Heth and Dave xx

  16. Wonderful to see such great photos...whatever you need to do to make all this bearable....I love the fact that you share on here.. I am really thankful too .... lots of love to you Paul.Sheila an Greg xx

  17. Away from my computer for a week or so and I come back to see this. Paul, what beautiful pictures and a blog to treasure too. Our thoughts are with you Paul, you have been so brave through all this. An inspiration. Love Sue and Vic xx

  18. Absolutely fabulous, you obviously made each other very happy and so did your two little doggies. Such interesting characters whom you can now take comfort from. Thankyou for sharing so much with us, As Sue says You are an inspiration to us all.
    Ann and Keith nb Oakfield.

  19. Such lovely photos of a loved and loving woman, Paul. Memories to treasure.
    You have nothing to regret except losing Elaine - and even so, she is with you constantly.

    Marilyn and David (nb Waka Huia)

    PS You have inspired us - we are buying a motorhome to tour NZ when not in the UK on our boat - carpe diem!

  20. Paul, so sorry for your loss of Elaine, it's been a very tough time, how you continued your blog amazes me. Your selection of photos are a fantastic memory, you now have a shining star looking down in you from above. Hope our paths cross again in the not too distant future. Pat & Helen in Mojacar.

  21. Hi Paul,
    The poem by American Mary Elizabeth Frye is one of my favorites. Its sentiments are very true I believe and obviously so did Elaine. You are not being self-indulgent. You are a member of a very unique ( in this day and age) loving and kind hearted community across the cut. People are always grateful to help in some way--large or small. In sharing your feelings and experiences on the blog you include all of us.
    I agree with you as well that a blog is better than a photo album. I think a blog is more immediate--making it easier to return in a heartbeat to the actual moment encapsulated in a post. My favorite photo of Elaine is the one of her lying down on a lock gate with Union Jack wellies on her feet! It made me laugh--and I am grateful for anything these days that lifts my heart. I know you understand. Do whatever you need to do to take care of yourself. Elaine would be pissed if you neglected yourself in your grief. Do whatever you feel is right to keep Elaine's memory alive. Those who are remembered, live.

  22. Thank you all so much for the lovely comments.
    Paul xxxx